31 Jan 2015
I wrote previously about distracting myself and beautifying the outside when there is more beauty in beautifying the inside. So her I am now 5 years on,sailing from Indonesia to Sri Lanka aboard The Wizards Eye, will I learn from that experience, from those reflections, will I use the time to gaze in the mirror or gaze at a candle.
5 years on I am different, older, hopefully wiser, more sensitive, aware. My physical body is as strong as it's ever been, my preference for practice equally as strong. I initially mourn surya namaskar, dynamic movements, my arm balances and handstands. But I still have my yoga, I find a spot at the helm and quietly centre myself. Gaze at the ocean, lost in the blue. Thoughts come, I honor them and let them go, again they appear I honor them and simply let them go. I set myself a goal of 30 minutes. Sitting, looking, stillness, I try not to label what I see, wave splash, reflection of the sun, glimmer, beauty, I try to simply sit in awareness. The labels are thoughts, I let them go too. The desire to know the time distracts me, I make a note next time to set an alarm, then let this distracting thought pass.
30 mins is up, now to make this a habit not just something to write about.
I don't need to forgo the peace I find in yoga, I still have yoga, another limb, meditation.
I am pondering what to do with my morning. My conscience wants to meditate but my mind wants me to wash bed linen and undies. Am I using washing clothes as a distraction from meditation? I decide to make my laundry an opportunity to practice mindfulness and let it be my meditation instead of of a distraction. I mix washing powder with rain water colected from the kayak. I hold the scoop cup high above the bucket I am going to wash my clothes in. The water cascades down, twinkling twinkling in the morning light, I scoop another cupful of water, then another, the next time I let it run over my hand. The coolness of it surprises me. I enjoy the sensation of the water running between my fingers. I swoosh my hand in the bucket and create foam, bubbles of varying size with miniature rainbows inside them. Some popping instantly some lingering. I add the undies. My mind is wandering - a random song is on repeat, the words keep coming. I return to the sensations of the bubbles and the job at hand. I let the suds caress my fingers. As I squeeze my bikini I watch the drops of water first rush from the fabric then, slowly the last drops leave the fabric, I wonder whether the last drop clinging on will eventually fall. I remember the last time I had observed water and bubbles so intently. I try to put this memory away to recall later and stay present. The water is now silky, thicker then normal, I move onto the next item, squeeze, scrub, swoosh. I stretch and am aware of the sun on my face, it's rays are delicious. I close my eyes to the moment. My washing is almost done. Items rinsed and tied onto the side of the boat to dry. I return to my memory........